Everybody knows that the tried-and-true method to get pissant drunk is to buy a half-gallon bottle of vodka and split it between as a few friends as possible. But by midnight, the three of you are sprawled out, too gone to finish that last third.
Never fear, your quick-fix to that alcohol poisoning you’ve always wanted is here: Red Bull.
Mix your drinks with vodka and Red Bull to get the “dirty piss” drink. Do you want it strong or weak? Piss gets weaker the drunker you are and the less Red Bull left over. 
Now you and your friends can stay up and drink until five (warning: for the newly initiated, the morning-after hangover is intense but able to be acclimated to).
Take your shots with a few drops of Red Bull and be shocked at how the evil vodka aftertaste disappears! One can of Red Bull may, in fact, do each party for the full night (especially as Red Bull is $%! expensive).
Remember: the more water you drink while you drink, the less the hangover will be! Keep that in mind the next time you want to get faced off your ass.